by David Chubb
The Great Pharaoh’s Pyramidal Treat
Rameses II was in a reflective mood. The most powerful, the most
venerated man-god in the known world, and possessor of all that could be
possessed, was bored. He summoned his high priest Atatep. “We desire
something cool, get us something cool.”
“Sire”, said Atatep, “you will be the god of cool, such as no god
before you.” At that he left Rameses to contemplate his greatness.
The High Priest gave orders for a thousand camels and five hundred of
the finest men of Egypt to assemble before the magnificent House of
Rameses.
Within two rises of Aten (days) the camel train was ready for its
journey. The camels were equipped with goat-skin panniers lined with
straw. Ten rises of Aten took it across the shifting ocean of sand, the
mighty wilderness, the Sahara. Their destination, the Mountains of Shu
(Atlas Mountains), lay but a thousand-camel’s length before them.
The High Priest possessed great wisdom. He had instructed the goat
skins to be filled with the white ice to be found on those peaks. After
ten rises of Aten the camel train returned. The white ice remained
perfectly protected from Aten’s heat.
The white ice was mixed with milk and honey, it was coloured with
essence of lotus flower and perfumed with rose water and myrrh. The
blend was thereafter fashioned into a pyramidal form, and presented to
him upon a dish of burnished gold. The man-god savoured the very first
ice cream.
Rameses ordered that, henceforth, his cartouche should carry added
hieroglyphs, for ice, milk of goat and honey, thereby symbolising his
cool.
David enjoys writing ‘magical realism’ short stories as a new found hobby. He is a retired professional used only to writing client reports, investment e-bulletins and the occasional newspaper article; David is now free to learn new writing skills and to have some fun. ‘Magical realism’ is only the beginning he anticipates, stroking his rabbit’s foot as the long-case clock chimes midnight.
